There was a woman(“Jane”) in a church we attended for a few years before leaving Canada – a Proverbs 31 lady all the way who was always involved in church activities, baked delicious food, gave her services as practically a full-time nanny to a family in the chuch for no charge, dressed modestly, acted with sincerity and worked hard. She was in her middle thirties and unmarried, a woman who was not scouted out by the single men in the church. He(“John”) came though…it took one wise man to PERCEIVE the gem before him and it was not long before they were married.
Now, there are several things that one could take from this story, including; (a)don’t strive to live like a Proverbs 31 women or man if it means a life of singleness may be your lot…the naughty are prefered thank you very much. We don’t want “nuns” or “monks”. Or (b), like “John”, SEE the sincere single Christian truly striving to live obediantly for their savior and consider SNATCHING THEM UP as there are few of them out there…those who live their faith all the way knowing what the consequences may be. I would prefer to discuss the latter.
I’ll begin by reflecting on the large singles group at First Baptist Church Atlanta, where I was involved for two years, as well as other groups I have visited in the past. They have truly assured me that what are popularly referred to as “meat markets” have become “meat storehouses” in many churches. Fearing large amounts of interest from the opposite sex should be the furthest worry from your mind unless you are charming and flirtatious. “I’m waiting for God’s best” is often the most popular word in the house but it’s significance is lost somewhere between the few who truly mean it and are waiting and the many who use the statement as code for one of two things: “I’m waiting for my best” or “I’m not really the marrying type…casual commitments are better.” The “God’s best” statement, when spoken by most, easily becomes a mere crux and an insulting statement to those who seriously mean it but are continually over-looked.
Incase you think that most Christian singles are waiting for the right one and therefore conducting their dating life wisely in the mean time, think again. There were many conversations I had with friends there that shocked me. One girl divulged that she was seeing multiple guys at the same time whom she met at work and her one stipulation before a date was “we will not sleep together.” Wow, what a standard! A guy had recently broken up with a long time girlfriend and told me that he really wanted another girlfriend. In no time, he was in deep with a girl who, though considered a “hot” one in the group, was deeply unstable and subsequently brought the guy down. They eventually married but I’m pretty sure the guy discarded his once strong faith in the end. The number of men and women who made the rounds with in the group was astounding; dating one person after another without serious intentions. A guy tried to convince me that he and the other men in the group would not show interest in a girl very similar to “Jane” because she was too good for them. Finally, he admited that the real reason was that she did not seem fun enough.
There are serious problems that ensue in many Singles Groups and other organized Christian gatherings today. They have become a cozy storehouse for people who desire to milk the single life in all the wrong ways, in Christ’s name. Those singles who are living for Christ, practicing purity(ugh…something I forgot to touch upon. How many times did the singles pastor have to remind us not to have premarital sex? I forget) , and choosing to be passionate for Him whether or not that draws the crowd, are much to be commended and encouraged. It only takes one or none but compromise is not an option even when it is tempting. They actually live by Proverbs 31. Let the others remember, “Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting; but a woman/man who fears the Lord is to be praised. Give her/him the reward she/he has earned, and let her/his works bring her praise at the city gate.” ~ Proverbs 31: 30-31.