The tests are back and it is official…I am very sick. Long ago, I unknowingly contracted an illness that has relentlessly and mercilessly progressed its way through my body and now I must deal with the reality that I may never recover from its ravaging effects. Now as I look back at my life, I wonder… WHY jealousy?

Why did you have to enter a healthy human frame already so jaded by sinful folly in the first place? Where did I catch you anyways? Was it when I first began scrutinizing my appearance in the mirror with images from Seventeen in my mind? I know that I felt so vulnerable then and had obviously not taken enough gratitude to build up my immunity but I guess I thought a healthy diet and 8 glasses of water was enough.

Did I catch you when I looked at Alexis and every friend I’ve had since with an ounce of displeasure that they possess things/qualities I don’t have? Mom told me it was a destructive habit to form but I don’t think she fully understood…yes, I have everything I need but couldn’t I have just a little bit more? Could I be just a little bit different?

What about the time I thought I should get recognition. Was that the beginning? I had worked my butt off for the “good Christian who everyone notices award” but it went to someone who seemed so totally undeserving. That really bothered me and kept me distressed for weeks.

Was it in Canada, Scotland, or America that you came?


Susanna Rose, in a rare case of AJD(Advanced Jealousy Disease), contracted jealousy at conception and showed the first signs of this deadly illness immediately after her birth in a Toronto hospital when she weerily glanced around the room and thought to herself, I wish I was as cute, soft and bald as that baby in the poster over there.


-8 glasses of vodka and a dose of speed.
OR for long- term remission, a steady diet of bible reading and prayer followed by dishing genuine compliments and positive statements.
-Love God, appreciate friends, think less of yourself.
-Progress, though painful at first, will become evident within 2 to 4 weeks.

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8 Responses to Diseased

  1. Rick says:

    8 glasses of vodka… yeah I’m pretty sure that’s lethal =)

  2. jana says:

    Good post—especially the cure part–a good thing for us ALL to remember. :) It was good seeing you all yesterday–it’s been too long since we have hung out.

  3. Neo says:

    Rose – Oh you had me for a second there. I thought something was really wrong.Did someone say alcohol?Neo looks around

  4. Susanna Rose says:

    So I scared someone with my dramatic openning!(= Thanks for the comments…makes me feel better as I moan in pain on my hospital bed!!

  5. Neo says:

    Rose – Ha! I’ll live. Actually a nice warm bed sounds good. I’m freezing in here today.

  6. Using up the words.... says:

    Hey SR…. I’m with Neo, you did have me for a second. Drama queen lives to see another day though! :)I need to remember the cure! Certainly need more time in the word here, and less distractions from the “world”! as I say… more of you, God. Less of me!

  7. Jordana says:

    wow! what a way to capture the disease that threatens us all … even if it is more for some and less for others. it’s hard to realize ones own humanness in a world of ‘perfection’. i appreciate your openess about yourself! cheers!

  8. bchallies says:

    Susanna, I think of our three mortal enemies – the world, the flesh and the devil – the second is the most distressing – and it does not get easier to bear your sin as you get older. You become more adept at focusing more on Christ, less on it, but it is a burdern you are so anxious to be rid of as you enter the homestretch of Christian pilgrimage.

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