I often tell people that my husband and I do not really fight but rather debate. If we disagree about something, we’ll fairly calmly (well, on my husband’s end anyways:) share our views and than sooner or later, always come to an agreement. There is no yelling, throwing or name calling which is what I would naturally constitute as a fight but… am I right?
Among the dictionary definitions for fighting are: a confrontation between opposing groups, a struggle to achieve an objective, a quarrel or conflict and to contend or struggle against. Similarly, an argument is defined as a discussion in which disagreement is expressed; A DEBATE, a course of reasoning aimed at demonstrating truth or falsehood, a fact or statement put forth as proof or evidence; a reason, etc. Definitions for debate include: To engage in argument by discussing opposing points, to dispute or argue about and a discussion involving opposing points; an argument.
Well, according to these definitions, it seems that Rick and I must fall somewhere in the middle between fighting and debating!:) We do attempt to achieve an objective and there is often an emotional struggle going on which would constitute fighting. On the other hand, since we do stay relatively calm, there is an element of discussion going on in which we dispute or argue opposing points/views, which according to the definitions of argument and debate, constitutes a debate!
Next time someone asks me if we fight, I will reply, “we engage in achieving an objective through relatively calm discussion (of opposing points) and debate with some arguing and emotional struggles!” Wow, won’t I just impress everyone…thanks to us, spousal disagreements will take on a whole new terminology!!!;)
So, married or not, do you like a good old fight or are you more the debating type???!