Miscommunicated Communication

Therefore cooking as an art-‘Hidden Art’, if you want to call it so-should be recognized and then developed in everyone who has to cook, wants to cook, or should cook! Cooking should not be thought of as drudgery, but as an art. Talent in this art form differs, of course, and would not be identical in each individual even if developed, but that is not the same thing as not recognizing it as an art form and not attempting to develope it.” ~ Edith Schaeffer, “The Hidden Art of Homemaking”
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Yesterday I was feeling frustrated. I didn’t know what to make for dinner, didn’t feel like making dinner and was biding my time at Borders bookstore with my brother Andrew, trying to avoid kitchen duties for as long as possible.

The source of my frustration was not so much that I hate cooking and don’t want to have a meal ready for Rick when he gets home from work, but that I often feel he is disappointed with what I make. If I don’t get a “this is a really good meal, babe!” then I assume it is a failure or not quite a favorite anyways.

I spent some time at the bookstore skimming through a marriage book by a Christian councelor and in it he talked about the importance of honest communication in marriage. That doubtless sounds very obvious and cliche but it is something that is often extremely difficult to actually do I think. Couples make mistakes in communication all the time, often trying to avoid conflict and in the case of meals, I felt certain after reading that I needed to challenge Rick to be more honest with me…to tell me what he really likes and what should go. Not because he is a bullying tyrant but because (a) I believe he deserves to have a good meal at the end of a long day, (b) I want to enjoy cooking more, knowing I am preparing meals he really likes and (c), there won’t as many leftovers hoarding the fridge space!

Today, I mentioned this miscommunication to Rick in an email. It seems he was all too eager to communicate more honestly about his meal preferences and I now have a list…a good idea of what I can make, with confidence that it will be a pleaser! Tonight, I wasted no time in making a dish from off the list (excuse the rhyme:)…a shrimp stir fry for my sea-food loving husband. Here are some more meals I’ll be making in the near future:

* Lasagna
* Dumplings
* Spaghetti
* Chili
* Sausage
* Pizza
* Spare ribs with homemade BBQ sauce
* Pork chops
* BBQ chicken
* Meat loaf
* Meat pie
* Oven fries and peppers
* Bacon pasta meal from our Italy cookbook
* Stir fry

Many would probably reprimand me for caring so much about his preferences but I don’t ever want dinner in our household to replicate a KFC or Rice-A- Roni ad. Following in the footsteps of my mother, I desire an important part of serving my husband to flow through culinary practices (I won’t say skills because that would be misleading;); nutritious and home made meals that will keep him expectant to sit down for dinner and boasting in the office! And truly, as author Edith Schaeffer reminds women, cooking is an art form, an expression of creativity that should be enjoyed and bestowed with much value!

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8 Responses to Miscommunicated Communication

  1. daniel says:

    Wow. Too bad there’s only one of you. ;) Oh, and I myself have had the honor of partaking of the “oven fries and peppers” item on that list, and can attest to it’s wholesome hearty goodness.

  2. bchallies says:

    Sounds like a varied menu – good for Rick!…I remember a funny story I heard when young – about a dating couple. For her first homemade meal, she included a lemon pie, which he complimented profusely, so she kept replicating itinto their engagement and marriage. Finally, years later, he told her he couldn’t stand it – never had liked it! That is miscommunication, or cowardice, or something terrible!

  3. Susanna Rose says:

    Mom-That’s exactly what I’m talking about! Sometimes it’s cruel to be “kind”!:)

  4. daniel says:

    For anyone who’s ever seen Everybody Loves Raymond…lemon pie = lemon chicken.

  5. well fed husband says:

    The shrimp stir fry was a plate full of spicy yumminess!! And the speghetti as well. I’m a lucky husband, looking forward to seeing what’s for dinner tonight =)

  6. Grace says:

    Hope the cooking is going well…sound s like you have some good things on that menu!

  7. Neo says:

    Rose – Hey now, Rice-A-Roni is the san fransico treat! It’s the bomb!I’m sure you put your all into everything you cook, and Rick appreciates your efforts.Send any of those leftovers this way. ;)Peace & Hugs,- Neo

  8. Mom R. says:

    Sadly, cooking is one thing I’ve never enjoyed. Rick did enjoy more variety than any of my others so I was sad to lose him at the dinner table. But wait, maybe he was just being “kind” and never liked what I made after all! :) Glad to sign off the cooking to you now, Susanna. Let me know what you come up with. I can always use ideas for new meals too. Of course I will always be willing to cook for the treat of my kids coming home again. The fellowship around the table makes it all worth while!!

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