My voting experience today requires me to hijack my wife’s blog and write about it since my own is still not working.
I voted in an elementary school (actually I attempted to vote in two of them, but that’s another story under the title “maybe you should check the name of the school you are at before standing in line for 30 minutes, stupid”). Plastered all over the walls of the school were homemade anti-drug campaigns. “Mrs. Mary Jane’s class says ‘no way’ to drugs” and I thought to myself… if you feel it is necessary to combat drug use among 1st and 2nd graders, you have worse problems than you know.
Then, however, I looked closer at one of the hand drawn pictures a student had made – it contained 2 stick figures, one saying “no way” to the asker… and the question was – “want to eat some drugs?” Only government would waste time drawing pretty pictures and coming up with cute phrases then pat themselves on the back for what a great job they’ve done fighting societal ills. Meanwhile, these kids have learned nothing and have no idea what they are even talking about.
No doubt this lesson was followed up with a lesson on how to put a condom on a banana and how we all once evolved from bananas, then encouraging the kids to go start having sex so they too can be protected just like great-grandpa banana. And wouldn’t it be great if we too could be more like the banana, all bio-degradable and environmentally friendly, living close together in bunches with no banana being better than another banana, without any regard for whether our skin was green or yellow or brown – in fact we could all peel back our skin to reveal our inner warm, squishy feelings for each other. If it were not for our evil parents who violently chop down the banana tree, chop, chop and then hit, hit their kids indiscriminately teaching their kids too to hate and ruining our perfect banana pudding harmony…
Well really, am I too far off from the truth? Don’t do drugs.