Rick hijacks the blog

My voting experience today requires me to hijack my wife’s blog and write about it since my own is still not working.

I voted in an elementary school (actually I attempted to vote in two of them, but that’s another story under the title “maybe you should check the name of the school you are at before standing in line for 30 minutes, stupid”). Plastered all over the walls of the school were homemade anti-drug campaigns. “Mrs. Mary Jane’s class says ‘no way’ to drugs” and I thought to myself… if you feel it is necessary to combat drug use among 1st and 2nd graders, you have worse problems than you know.

Then, however, I looked closer at one of the hand drawn pictures a student had made – it contained 2 stick figures, one saying “no way” to the asker… and the question was – “want to eat some drugs?” Only government would waste time drawing pretty pictures and coming up with cute phrases then pat themselves on the back for what a great job they’ve done fighting societal ills. Meanwhile, these kids have learned nothing and have no idea what they are even talking about.

No doubt this lesson was followed up with a lesson on how to put a condom on a banana and how we all once evolved from bananas, then encouraging the kids to go start having sex so they too can be protected just like great-grandpa banana. And wouldn’t it be great if we too could be more like the banana, all bio-degradable and environmentally friendly, living close together in bunches with no banana being better than another banana, without any regard for whether our skin was green or yellow or brown – in fact we could all peel back our skin to reveal our inner warm, squishy feelings for each other. If it were not for our evil parents who violently chop down the banana tree, chop, chop and then hit, hit their kids indiscriminately teaching their kids too to hate and ruining our perfect banana pudding harmony…

Well really, am I too far off from the truth? Don’t do drugs.

-Rick

This entry was posted in Letter Rip. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Rick hijacks the blog

  1. Susanna Rose says:

    Okay honey…I know I should have given you your medicine this morning!;) Our little banana tree climbing youngster is crying right now so I had to read quickly but interesting thoughts from one of the foremost thinkers of our time!!!! And one more thing…I hate to vote but I’ll do it just for you…how good of a wife am I?! (I give myself a big pat on the back!)

  2. Susanna Rose says:

    Now that I’ve had time to read this post more carefully (as well as having just gotten back from that school since I was a good wife and voted;), I think you make excellent points and isn’t it just great that instead of filling our children’s minds and brains with moral and worthwhile thoughts, the school system seems to want to introduce them to immorality as early as possible!

  3. bchallies says:

    That is hilarious, Rick! I gather you won’t be enrolling Micah in the public schooling system anytime soon – or, I guess – later!

  4. Anonymous says:

    Oh my gosh Rick…this is so funny:)

  5. daniel says:

    Two comments. First of all, government schools blow…send your kid to private school. Second, am I the only one that caught the fact that the name of Miss anti-drug teacher was Mary Jane?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s