It’s almost 4am but I am not sleeping well. It’s not because Micah has me awake…he’s not with us right now as his grandma and grandpa Rose have him overnight. Rick and I had a relaxing, much needed “date night” but our little son’s absence is already seeming too long and is, I suspect, the main underlying reason for this dream:
I’m with my mom and two sisters at the trailer park in Calhoun, Georgia my parents own and invest great amounts of effort in maintaining as well as in forging relationships with their “tenants.”
In my dream, we are talking with a boy (late high school, early college age) who is living in a small trailer with his girlfriend and two baby sons. The way he plays with his boys, it is obvious they are everything to him. Suddenly Rick appears and is roughing around with Micah and I am less than impressed, telling him to be more careful with him! (a random aside to the dream)
Anyways, we’re helping the guy out by tidying the trailer and talking about nothing of significance until he gradually begins opening up to my mom and it becomes obvious he sees her as a parent figure who has and will give him good advice.
His girlfriend is out partying all the time with her friends, he explains wearily. She still isn’t home on this particular afternoon that has turned into evening and he is frustrated. He asks us whether we wouldn’t mind staying for an extra hour or two so he can grab a nap and some time away from his rambunctious sons. We agree wholeheartedly and as I hold Micah, I know exactly where he is coming from.
He and mom then lodge into a discussion about Christianity, a discussion it seems they have had before. He wonders if it is really important to be a Christian. Mom assures him in her calm yet unabashedly candid way that indeed a heart relationship with Jesus Christ is everything.
Perhaps wondering where is wife and daughter’s are, my dad appears and the guy (of unknown identification) runs up to him and hugs him as though dad is his own father. I walk outside and sit to consider the plight of this guy, younger than Rick and I, who already has so much on his plate and a girl disinterested in helping him raise their children, together.
As I near the ending, I must warn you this dream has a rather dramatic and climactic ending…I woke up really shaken… While I sit pondering his situation, the guy runs outside, yelling in loud desperation, “I can’t take it anymore!” and within seconds, takes his own life by diving into his very shallow back yard pool. I’m screaming and jump into the pool in an attempt to save him but it’s too late. We’re all crying. The dream ends.
No, I’m not on drugs. I promise! This dream was so vivid though and all I can think (as well as I can think at what it now almost 5am) are a few things:
1. I miss Micah SOOO much and perhaps feel like the irresponsible girlfriend right now for leaving him overnight
2. I’m often utterly exhausted these days and feel that catching a quick nap or keeping the apartment tidy are two impossible ideals
3. I think my mom and dad often grossly underestimate the significant impact their investment in this trailor park can have on them both financially and relationally. As this dream illlistrates, they are not ashamed to identify themselves with the everymen of this world. The trailor park may not be home to the most “sophisticated” of people, but I know both mom and dad have found them refreshingly down to earth and deeply appreciative of the honest and dignified manner by which business is operated on the property. And who knows…perhaps there are stories my parent’s have yet to discover on the premises as well as lives still yet to be touched by their love. I wouldn’t doubt it.
4. Note to self: parenting can be tough but suicide is not the answer!!:)