Oh, the last post probably confused you all…everything is well that ends well! Basically, Rick had the job but just had to iron out the formal salary agreement and not only has an agreement been reached but it is far better than we had hoped…we are indescribably grateful! God is really moving us forward and taking care of us…but why should I have ever doubted he would?!
As we were flying over New York on our way back to Atlanta, I looked down over the Brooklyn Bridge, the harbor and just sat in silent amazement at His creation. There are many moments in which I am realizing acknowledging all He has made is just as valuable as praying and reading the bible.
Growing up with parents deeply committed to seeing their five children know and develop a strong relationship with God as I did, who could have known early confidence would turn to confusion as has been my experience but yet, unfortunately, I have discovered this is an all too common occurrence. When true faith comes through personal commitment and can not be inherited or earned, knowing for sure can be an agonizing process. Is this true faith or just all I’ve ever known? Am I a mere robot? How can I know any thing for certain? Is this my own faith?
I’ve never thrown in the towel. I’ve searched for answers to my questioning heart here, there and everywhere but when all is said and done, I’ve known many of the answers all along and an introduction to God and His son early on really was enough for the rudimentary seeds to be planted. Enough for me, with child like faith, to be drawn to Him with an earnestness. Drawn and not because of anything I did or can do. Ask me a day, a time, a place and I can’t give you an answer. What I can tell you though is that it is not the birth but the life of faith that is pivotal…the maturing, development and ultimate survival through thick and thin. No, my salvation story will never contain great dramatics and prodigal son-like comparisons. Sorry.
God has given me an abundance of loneliness in my life but as I look back, it has always served as a constant reminder that He is all that I need and will never be fair weather. “You’ll be lonely in New York” is a statement which really does not throw me. Perhaps I will be; I can’t know until we move there. I do know though that with God ahead of us, Rick and Micah beside me, there really is no better company!
What scares me most is that I will forget all that I am learning is this season of life. We’ll move, settle, have fun and forget who got us there and performed great things to see the process through. As the late Christian singer/songwriter Keith Green sang, “Help me to follow through, make every day a devotion to You…”