*For the record, we seem to never have an consistent Internet connection these days and I hate having to go a few days without checking email, being able to keep up with what I desire to be daily blogging and other online stuff. But we have discovered a secret. If we take out laptop out on our back deck, we get a connection so here I am. Micah is napping and I am basking in a sun and warmth of Brooklyn’s early summer, laptop in hand…eating up this short period of peaceful alone time! Oh if only modern technology was a little more reliable!
Thoughts I’ve been pondering this week(and for the record, I include myself in this need to be a more encouraging mom):
1. Apparently it not only takes a village to raise a child but in New York City, everyone want to raise your child right along with you but unfortunately not always in the most gracious manner.
2. 95% of moms are walking around with a constant, burdensome load of guilt on their shoulders. In our minds, we’re always failing, always harming the future well-being of our children, etc. They’re our little continuing projects and we want to get an A++ at the end of the day but give out selves a D- most of the time. We feel the world is probably giving us a big F.
3. With that being said, we need to encourage and support each other when ever we can. Leaving ourselves and our children out of the picture, when we see another mother doing something right or finding progress in a certain area of child-rearing, we should be quick to let her know we have noticed and praise her efforts. This praise may not be reciprocated but it is better to practice giving it none the less.
4. Advice or correction should come after encouragement and always be smothered both top and bottom with encouragement. As I say, Most of us mothers already give ourselves failing or near failing grades most of the time. We need to be handled gently. We’re trying so hard, each in our own unique style and simply hunger to know we’re being “good moms.”
5. Next time a mom shares an insecurity about parenting, encourage her. Unless she is abusing her child in some way, assume she is doing a much better job than she herself recognisance and tell her this. If advice or correction alone is given in this situation, without much, much encouragement, she may break. Without realizing it, she is likely unwrapping these insecurities because she is desperate for affirmation and a listening ear.
6. Moms are more responsible for the spreading of this good will than anyone else. If we make a point of being encouraging, understanding, gracious individuals with one another than perhaps others will be more likely to follow suit. I for one hope I can begin becoming a more encouraging, other focused mom…my short run so far in motherhood has showed me this behavior is not just coveted when received but unfortunately, far too rare a phenomena among our kind. I dare to assume we’d all be better off if this would change
What do you think? Agree? Disagree?