The Crux of the Matter


I’ve been thinking lately that I want to worry less about proving to others why it is a worthy pursuit to be a stay-at-home-mom or that I am a “good” mom. Perhaps it is just today, perhaps there is a successful mother-son dynamic going on…but I think I need to just stop expending undue energy attempting to justify.

Good parent. Bad parent. Good Micah. Bad Micah. People can think what they want but at the end of the day, if I don’t think more about what God thinks, what his desires are towards the proper care and directing of our children, then I will unconsciously bring up little stereo-typical urban hipster children. They might look cool…but their little hearts will have in many ways been sacrificed on the alter of what the parent-culture of Park Slope determines is the right way to parent. is a poor resource of wisdom. I need to be shown how to be a parent to my children, not a poor replacement for a buddy or mentor of sorts.

I am not out to question the parents in our area but rather the parental philosophies which I have observed after a year living here are widely accepted and swallowed (evolutionary beliefs of seeing children as animals and thus blaming ill-behavior on their natural, uncontrollable animal instincts, time- out as the only disciplinary measure, discardment of the word “no,” etc). These philosophies are as predictable as the fact that there will likely be a hand full of little Stellas and Sophies at the playground on any given day. Yet, while there may be a time and place for time-out, ultimately none of these core beliefs which many in our culture esteem have any biblical foundation. If I adopt these measures unquestionably with no regard for God’s instructions for proper parenting, what am I doing?

We can conform the bible to our ideals but at the end of the day, it still clearly gives such warnings to parents as, “spare the rod, spoil the child.” Like the left over dinner from last week spoiling in our fridge (yummy picture, huh?;), unappealing in appearance and odor, I don’t want to court disaster with our children by leaving God’s words for man’s. I want His opinion to be the one that counts most. I want to feel His pleasure at my parenting and if other parents might see certain methods as square or overly restraining, so be it. Our children will hopefully have many years to be their own persons, to pave their own paths. But for the short years Rick and I have them under our roof, I hope we will unashamedly steer them in God’s ways so that their paths ahead will be straight ones.

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5 Responses to The Crux of the Matter

  1. Anonymous says:

    As a Christian, you have the privilege of thinking not just long term, but “longest term” – right into eternity! On that great and final day, all that Will matter is that you have “I and the children you have given me” to present to the Lord! Mom

  2. Susanna Rose says:

    Mom, I pray Rick and I will have the honor to present all our children to the Lord as believers just as you and dad will be able to! What a blessing and what a hope to look to!:)

  3. Grace says:

    Not being a parent…I don’t have much to say except that I pray for you and your family every day!

  4. Ally says:

    This reminds me of some scripture that I think about a lot as I try to ignore the world’s standards (as well as my own–which are often more problematic) It’s from 1 Corinthians 4.”I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but thatdoes not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me.” Striving to actually live in this belief helps strip down so much of what distracts me–like others’ judgment, my own desires for perfection, the need to “prove” something, etc.

  5. Anonymous says:

    wow. rodney and i were talking about one of the chapters in “the rich single life” the other day and kind of seeing how we lined up with the descriptions of Godly men & women..and when i was reading your blog..what cj mahaney said about Godly women immediately came to mind…he said: “A man should evaluate a woman’s submission to Scripture as her ultimate authority in life. Women live among a multitude of competing authorities—domineering males, feminist rhetoric, deep emotions, worldly temptations. A godly woman will be a woman of the Word. Shewill know it, love it, and allow it to be the ruling authority in her life. As much as most women desire marriage and family, married women must embrace changes of identityand personal autonomy of a kind that men can’t comprehend. If a woman trusts the teaching of God’s Word regarding her identity and worth, she will enter the new world of marriage roles and responsibilities with abiding faith.”…i just read this blog entry i am so encouraged by your commitment to be a woman whose standard for faith AND very PRACTICAL matters of life (such as raising babies in brooklyn) is His Holy word. I’m blessed to know you. Be encouraged…and I’ll pray that God will continue to give you the grace to faithfully mother the children that He has blessed you with for His glory. -yolanda

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