Finally, an audience

Ellie at just a week or two, sadly the only picture taken of my little girl and I together besides those from the hospital.

I’ve always loved to sing. Sing, sing, sing is what I did as a child. Say any word and I’d make up a song about it to the complete annoyance of my siblings who on long car rides would beg my parents to set time limits to how much I sang. Let’s just say it was an overwhelming compulsion!

In high school my best friends loved to sing as well. We’d find our vocal outlet in the school choir or just for fun in our spare time. I was even part of a big Baptist church choir for a while in Atlanta! Long robes, clapping, always perky and cheerful (or trying to appear so anyways as the services were televised)… but now it’s been a while and there has not been anyone to sing for in quite some time!

I guess God knew I needed someone to appreciate my singing and so just one of the many reasons why Ellie is a blessing to me! Today was a difficult day and tonight before dinner as she lay on the floor near me cheerfully kicking and reaching, I began to sing. She actually slowly fell asleep as I sang this song, “Hold Me Know,” by Christian artist Jennifer Knapp:

From glass alabaster she poured out the depths of her soul.
O foot of Christ would you wait if her harlotry’s known?
falls a tear to darken the dirt.
Of humblest offerings to forgive the hurt.
She is strong enough to stand in your love.
I can hear her say..

I am weak.

I am poor, I’m broken Lord but I’m yours.
Hold me Now. hold me Now.
Let he without sin cast the first stone if you will.
To say that my bride isn’t worth half the blood that I’ve spilled.
Point your finger and laugh if you choose to say my beloved is borrowed and used She is strong enough to stand in Your love. I can hear her say. I am weak. I am poor, I’m broken Lord but I’m yours. Hold me Now. Hold me Now.

Strong, pointed lyrics for sure but this is one of my favorite songs, recounting the prostitute in the book of Luke who comes to Jesus feeling completely unworthy and in her humility seeks to serve Him. Kneeling before Him, she bathes His feet with her tears, drys them with her hair and then anoints His feet with the best of her perfume. While the disciples look on in disgust and ask Jesus why He does not send her away, He looks on her with tender compassion and loves her offering. He knows she has given her best to Him. Above all He knows she realizes how unworthy she is to stand before Him. Without total humility one can not fully see their need for God or dependence on Him.

In times of feeling broken and totally at the end of myself, songs like this comfort and sooth. I am reminded of God’s love for me even in all of my failures. And apparently this one soothes Ellie as well!

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6 Responses to Finally, an audience

  1. kate says:

    That is so beautiful. I can’t wait to sing to my boy. I havent sung much since being married because im always worried about the tenants upstairs. Im sure nothing will stop m when I have, as you say, an audience.

  2. Anonymous says:

    Ohh! It sounds like Ellie has an ear for music like her Mama! I can honestly say that singing has gotten us through some of the most stressful times with Vivian–from those first days to the present. There is something about the power that music has over us humans. I guess that’s why God created it! It’s amazing that God can use our gifts, like singing, to help us be better parents.Love the picture of you two. You look enraptured by her. You’ll definitely have to take more!Love,AdrienneAdrienne

  3. Grace says:

    What a beautiful picture of you and Ellie and what a beautiful song!

  4. Anonymous says:

    It is absolutely amazing – think of it as many times as you will – that God loves sinful human beings…As I was saying on the phone earlier, think of his accepting us graciously in His presence as we begrudgingly (at times, anyway) pick up our Bible and determine to read and pray just because it is the right thing to do…Imagine if our husbands came home saying, I would rather be anywhere but here right now. I am home simply because it is right, not because I want to be here…Not many of us would accept that. But God does – graciously, lovingly,”humbly”…Grace is a wondrous thing! Mom

  5. Grace says:

    Ok…I just have to add that sister, you are so beautiful.

  6. Anna says:

    I really liked those lyrics. I’ll have to look up the song. Such a sweet picture too.

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