When you ask me how I’m doing the last few days, it is a roller coaster of responses. One moment, I might say “great!” The next I might be feeling freaked out. What really scares me is looking onto next week when Rick goes back to work. What will it be like to step into solo parenting, three at home to care for and tend to, a newborn who needs to be nursed often. Breastfeeding alone, despite it’s obvious benefits, also poses challenges as both my arms are taken up in those moments that other little beings want my love and attention. I am trying to be creative, thinking of ways to cuddle with them while nursing but it is a challenge!
So, at the end of the day, I am faced with me or God. Will I be able to do it? Most definitely NO! NO, in my own “power” or strength, I have nothing to offer save a brief few moments of strength that will then quickly start toppling down as me ends.
Total reliance on my creator. Total reliance on the one who made us in His image to live for Him. Please remind me dear family and friends that this is my answer…HIM. Cause, I am scared, I am not feeling brave right now.
“I need You Jesus! I need You Jesus! I need clean hands, I CAN’T, YOU CAN, I need You Jesus!”