There is a voice inside of me sometimes that questions whether I should continue with blogging. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes but I’ve been doing this blogging thing for 5 years now. The birth of each of our children has been recorded here. It has become a special place for me.
What began as “Letter Rip” became “Mommy, Inc” after we moved to Brooklyn, New York from Atlanta, Georgia 3 years ago. The former blog was a place where I dabbled more in creative writing and less in writing about life. With the transition to motherhood, I wanted to establish the fact that being a mom is an important job so therefore, a name change and why not add Inc. to the title!
Readership has lagged and grown. Grown and lagged. I don’t always feel like anyone cares and I am by no means changing the world like I once thought possible!;) But still, something keeps me pressing “new post” week after week, year after year. It is in my blood to write and taking pictures of my precious babies is one of my passions.
Yet, two things keep me struggling:
First, with each child comes less time. I can only blog a few times a week at most these days. I constantly strive to make sure I am prioritizing taking care of my husband, children and home before taking part in blogging or other online activities which means if I have the opportunity to blog, it is while the kids nap in the afternoon. Which is why I am writing a blog post now at 4 in the afternoon. In my life, in the way I operate, this is the best way to do things. But, sometimes I wish I could be the super mom who has a thriving blog, writes a titillating post each day and even makes money from blogging. Yet, that is not what God has called me to. For some moms yes…but that is not His will for me. If there is one thing I know with out a shadow of a doubt, He has called me to be a committed mother and home maker so I want to strive to honor Him there. A constant learning process. Yet, thankfully I have many great examples to look to amongst family and friends.
Secondly, sometimes I wonder if I should be writing deeper posts more often when I do have the chance to blog. I suppose too many sleepless nights with babies and a feeling that I am still learning so much keep me from writing as much more substantial material. It really can feel like the brain is becoming mush sometimes!:) But, each new day provides fresh opportunities. It is my desire to write more about motherhood, specifically Christian motherhood, in the weeks and months ahead. Yet always I will continue as I have always done for I know no other way…writing not from the perspective of an expert but as a mom constantly learning myself. To me, life is more about learning than teaching. Learning through failures and hardships. Rejoicing in victories and success but not assuming I have arrived because I haven’t and never will. That is not the pessimist in me speaking, just the continually humbled realist.
Why blog then? Because I truly do love the discipline of it. Will I continue? Yes! With a level of timidity, a desire to proceed humbly and always, with a good dose of vulnerability, I will continue.
See you around!:)