Thirty is the new twenty when it comes to marriage. Love and a commitment to see it through as the prerequisite have been replaced by the requirement to establish a career and find oneself through an assortment of life experiences – then think about marriage.
In the face of these prevailing views in secular and Christian culture, we wonder how to raise our daughters with a traditional mindset. How do we equip them for marital success? We hope to instill and support a counter-cultural mindset.
Be dignified, but not prideful.
We want our daughters to have confidence and a sense of their worth. Not worth rooted in self, but in their position in Christ. We desire to put down pride that can hinder. Though no one would articulate this, in subtle ways it is easy personify an attitude of “I’m too good for anyone.”
A girl confident in Christ and seeking godliness desires to seek a godly husband, not to fill a value vacuum with relationships or to ‘just have fun.’ She doesn’t need to invest in relationships that will lead nowhere.
Know what makes a godly man, not a perfect man
Our daughters don’t need to seek Mr. Perfect, by understanding human nature they will know their husband will be a sinner just like them. They do need to seek a man who has a heart for God, that seeks to grow in godliness, and has a teachable spirit.
Desire marriage, motherhood
Pride also says, “I have too much to offer the world to settle for marriage (or before I think about marriage).” We desire that our daughters be fed on biblical truth – seeing the role of a wife and a mother as the highest calling.
The world says that marriage is not enough to declare “success.” Parents tell their daughters they can “do more” with a clear connotation that it is ultimately the high degrees and lofty careers that are most valuable.
Other pursuits may come, but if the role of wife and mother is the highest calling it is not put on hold. If a godly man be found, but schooling incomplete, we would still encourage marriage. Because marriage, not career, is the high calling. We can attest to God’s faithfulness despite humble beginnings.
(Follow up post: Are We All Called to Marriage?)