Being Clay

The Christian life seems to be all about surrender.  “Have your own way, Lord, have Your own way.  You are the potter, I am the clay” goes the old hymn.  And it is so.  Not surrender in an hopeless, despairing sense…not surrender to a cruel God we are sure just wants to cut us a bad deal…but surrender to a God who knows infinitely better than we can ever know what it is we need.  What it is we need to grow, change and be used for His purposes to further His work in whatever place He has us.

We are learning about surrender as we have realized God wants us in New York City longer than we thought.  (Our two year plan has become four years and counting)!  Three weeks ago, Rick seemed to be fairly handed a  perfect  job in Atlanta and so we thought we would be moving back south within five or six weeks…back to most of our family, to the prospect of owning a house for the first time and having easier, more affordable access to good schools for our kids. Before formally agreeing to the position in Atlanta, Rick had a good look at their medical coverage and realized it was going to be an extremely expensive plan.  Along with a sizable pay cut, Rick realized we’d be giving up far too much to move…his job here is perfect for him and we have great medical coverage which is obviously vital with Amelia’s health issues.  As many others advised us, we’d be wise to stay here and see if something better comes along.

I was seeing the house.  I was seeing my children playing with their cousins whenever they wanted to, frequent visits to be loved on by their grandparents, aunts, uncles…the whole bit.  My heart was moving there already.  So having to change my gaze back to New York was painful at first…I couldn’t believe everything fell through.

But what does one do in such a situation…do you point your finger at God and say “how could you God?”  “What are you doing?”  “This isn’t what I wanted!”  My heart has done such things at times in my life.  But when I let myself be clay in His hands, it  is a good thing.  His love is so evident…He brings new blessings along that give me comfort and assurance that He has not forgotten or turned His back on us, our little family.  And so we look again at homeschooling in Brooklyn, investing in our church here, investing in our friends here and running the race set before us right here.  Right now.

“Mold me and make me after Your will, while I am waiting yielded and still.”

4th of July parade, Groton, CT

Micah counts all the stars!:)

Mystic boat tour

*All pictures above from our 4th of July weekend trip to Mystic and Stonington, CT.

* * * * * *

Oh, and two weeks ago, Rick and I got the chance to have a night out at a free outdoor opera concert with the Manhattan skyline as a backdrop.

I just had to add a few pictures capturing the almost unspeakable spendor of our city!

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10 Responses to Being Clay

  1. Grace says:

    What a beautiful family you are. I am so so sad you are not moving here but I know that obviously God would have it that you live in NY…at least for now. Love you! So glad to have you post again.

  2. Adrienne says:

    I wondered how everything was progressing. I’ve always felt that when God closes doors in our life that it only means that he has something else, something better suited for us, out there. We are praying for you guys!

  3. Jo says:

    Oh, Sus,
    I can imagine you were tasting the comforts of family, only to have to readjust to NY being home. I’ll pray you can resettle your mind an heart. Love you guys,
    Jo

  4. Missing you. And hoping we all live together one day…Tim and Aileen included. Challies Utopia:). Love you!

  5. Name says:

    I’m kind of glad you get to stay in New york. Your blog has definitely demonstrated that you can live in NYC and have a family. We might get the opportunity to work there in the future as that’s where my husbands company is based.

    I was really happy to see A with that pretzel! And her hair has really grown a lot! It’s good to see the Lord answering prayer.

  6. Franci says:

    I’m sorry that your plans fell through, but I’m not sorry to have you here longer! :-) We hope and trust that God will show you where He wants you and when.

  7. Susanna says:

    Thank you dear Franci!!!:) Love you friend!

  8. Megha says:

    I’m sorry things did not work out :( That transition from our expectations to trusting that God knows best, is hard! Will pray for new doors to open for you all, and for His peace whatever the situation.

  9. Areia says:

    Sooooo encouraging. I was reading Isaiah 45 this morning and thought of your post- I read this the day before we got some news that put us in a very similar situation. In the midst, God has been faithful to remind me of His faithful provision & the fact that He knows everything. Praying for you guys!

  10. Susanna says:

    Thanks Areia! So good to hear from you!!!!

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