This year, Rick and I have learned about loving and being there for each other through fear and uncertainty. The year began with Amelia in the hospital, ng tube inserted through her nose for feedings and right in those first days and weeks, we knew we were in something bigger than anything we had encountered before. Six years of relative ease and the seventh was our year to be put to the test and refined.
I found this in a random journal entry from several months ago:
“Lord, we’re in something bigger than ourselves with Amelia. We are in something where we can’t see the end in sight
or even the middle…we just know You are always with us. The biggest comfort there is.”
God has been kind to Amelia. God has been kind to us. And God has been kind to our marriage, using the issues with Amelia to bring Rick and I closer together rather than further apart and bringing us to a greater dependence on Him. Through the stress and uncertainty, God has given us the ability and desire to trust Him and to give Him the glory for Amelia’s continued progress!
I am honored to stand beside a man who has proves himself over and over again both at home and in his career. My husband never fails to be the bulwark in our family but this year more than ever, he has simply amazed me! He counts it an honor to serve us and I see that more and more as I have begun formal homeschooling and he is so conscious of being there to lend support in any way needed. I have seen this the countless times he has tirelessly sat trying to feed Amelia, a task that at one point pre-sippy cup, used to take an hour or so because she could not properly suck from the bottle. So my husband would patiently sit there and tenderly care for her…a picture of Jesus in my mind. This may sound corny but he always wants to help me realize dreams I have, large or small. Whether it’s actively encouraging me in my running pursuits or building a fun school space (pictures to come:) for the kids and I, he loves to be there and I always know he does not think any desire of mine is stupid or unimportant.
And some of my most cherished memories of the last year are coveting our few hours together in the hospital each night over Christmas before Rick would have to go home again when visitors hours were over. It was just us and Amelia and the whirring of the feeding tube pump and we never needed the comfort of the other’s presence more than in those days! We would eat take out and, even in the stale, undecorated hospital room, just enjoying talking and being. Without having to say it, we felt safer and more secure together.
Just being is one of the best parts of marriage and seven years later, I can’t wait for many, many more years to just be with my husband, my soul mate, my best friend and the guy who sharpens me! Happy 7th anniversary! I love you!
“Precious gift from God,
imperfect is my love for thee,
but a choice I make to give
and forever will it be(…)
Only God could love you more,
Only God could love you better,
His example will I learn from
and conform to Christ my every letter(…)”
– From a poem written by Rick to me while we were dating.:)